Why did the hipster burn his tongue? The tea he was drinking was at an unsuitable temperature for consumption resulting in the scalding of his mouth.

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What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

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what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

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Why did a car full of African-American men pull up to a lonely, caucasian man walking on the sidewalk at 12 p.m. in Harlem? To ask for directions.

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American all stand in one room. The Italian throws pasta out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The Mexican throws a taco out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The American throws a burger out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country."

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What is invisible and smells like cheese? Cheese. I lied about the invisible part, because cheese is not invisible.

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Why did the German Constitutional Court issue Decision 2 BvR 1390/12 on September 12, 2012? Because they wanted to refuse the request for a temporary injunction in regards to the European Stability Mechanism!

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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No this is Patrick, I'm not a krusty krab

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-Knock knock. ~Use the doorbell. -Ding dong. ~The witch is dead!

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Knock Knock? whos there? The man at the door then finds himself thinking what his last name is as he lately got amnesia

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roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

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How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

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What's good? Anything that is not bad.

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My asian freind died recently... But on another note why did the chicken cross the road.Crosing the road is a metaphor for killing yourself and the chicken is my asian freind.

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why did the Chinese man fail the driving test because he had no previous driving experience and wasn't prepared for the test

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Pain Olympics.

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Guess what my dog can do? Bark.

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whats blue and can fly? a red robin i lied about being blue By RT so u believe me

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It's a penguin that breathes by its asshole. One day, he sits down, and he dies.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.

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My aunt said slow and steady wins the race....... She died in a fire

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Why is the duck? Because it has two feet the same.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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