Where did the guy who shot his neighbor go? Jail, because he was caught, sent to court, and was convicted of murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse then precedes to beat the bartender voraciously for making fun of his religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Make little things count Teach midgets math

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what do a black guy and a white guy have in common? neither of them are purple

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the boy have no ankles? Because his legs were amputated

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is Debbie short for? She has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Robert had 30 cheeseburgers and he ate 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why couldnt james zatts swim? he was half black

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Josh Moran sticks polish sausage up his ear and moves it back and forth while squeezing his balls until they rupture.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

woman..parallel parking

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the baby cross the road? 'cause i kicked it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

thumb_up thumb_down +16

so i was F***in this guy the other day with my penis.....shit! i mean i was F***in this girl and i jizzed

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

honest politician

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the girl scream when she got her tooth pulled? Because it hurt her.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house... knock knock who's there the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +16

-Knock knock! -Who's there? -Pizza. That'll be 20 bucks. -Here you go. -Thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops