What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Nah, could not care less about how I sound on "The network", its just that I spent all night finishing the core concept to my new novel, and all the capital letters and stuff sound like Jim Carrey in my head as I type. So Redcunt, where you going? When you coming back?

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's treehouse? No. It's quite nice, her father made it himself.

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A nuclear device is dropped on hiroshima. Does it make a sound? The answer is yes because the americans are laughing in Enola Gay

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Trampoline.

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They see me trollin' They hatin'...

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Why did Susan fall off the swing? -Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan.

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Why is my room black and white? Because your in a black and white movie.

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Q:What do you call a duck that can fly? A:Bird.

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What do you call a Rhino and a Lion having sex? Pointless, since they can't reproduce

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Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

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Why did i write this joke? Because i'm a try hard.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Q: What's worst than the Holocaust? A: 6 million Jews

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Today, my doctor discovered I had a tumor in my brain the size of a walnut. FML.

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why did the walrus sex with the jew because 911 created a sexual falafel

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A muslin walks into a bar, and has the same equal rights as everyone else and orders a pint of fosters.

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A blonde girl walks into a car.

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What did Jean Luc Picard say to Data when he saw a broken Janome Overlocker? Make it Sew

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor I think I have HIV! Doctor: Wtf to that one...

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing set? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 5 dollars he would have 10 dollars

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Knock knock. Who's there? Meals on wheels - eat up!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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