Roses are yellow Violets are carpet.. Get it...?

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What did the Little 8 year old boy do when a big black man walked into his house? He said "Hi daddy", then they happily ate dinner together.

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If a tree falls in the forest, and only a deal man is there at the time, does it make a sound? And what are his odds of not being trapped under it, awaiting rescue?

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Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

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Extra extra read all about it dunkin donuts has now been named dunkin pigs..a cops favorite hang out.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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That awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it would.

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You know whats better than 24? 25

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Dan was friends with Dick. Dick likes to give massages to Dan. Dan's favorite is Dickie's special mixture. He will remember Dick, his favorite personal assisatant for life. CREEPER

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Roses are multicoloured Violets are multicoloured Mushrooms are great

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guess what chicken butt

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theres this guy that i REALLY like but today he was putting something in my locker, it was gumbie the little green bendy thing but i didnt want it to be in my locker so i slammed my locker, except the only thing was that his pinky was in the way!!!! oh gosh i felt soooooo bad!!!! turns out he went to the hostpital and got stitches!!!!!!! that made it worse on me!!!!!! he said he was finee but i still cant let that go!!!!!

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I want a lot of likes...do it you wont. i know you wont.

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(warning- this is sort of funny) A mom takes her son to cvs to pick up her pills. Son- Mom whats a pharmacists? Mom- well sweetie its a person who sells people drugs Monday Morning Teacher- Class, did you learn anything over the weekend? Son- Yah, i learned that my mommy has been taking me with her every week, to a person who sells drugs Later that week Teacher- Yes, hi, um your son has told me that you take him to buy drugs with you, i may have to call social services Mom- what? this is a misunderstanding, i go to a pharmacists to buy drugs. That evening Mom-what did you tell your teacher at school Son- you've been telling me that i go with you to buy drugs Mom- baby i need pills, well, because, im sick. Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok At school Teacher- Billy ive called s.s on your mom, u will be living with foster parents Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok Evening Police- ?Ms. Thackery, is this your student. Teacher- Yes Police- His mom has tradgicly died in a pool of tears after finding out YOU called s.s Mom- what? omg. DAMN Police- Im afraid u r under arrest for the cause of his mothers death Class- yayyyyyyy wooo hooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Billy Billy Billy Billy. hip hip hooray Teacher- Damn Son- mommy? Police- ur mommy's dead, sucks right sooooooo here's a box and ten bucks......... go live your life

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What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

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how do you starve a black man? hide his food stamps in his work boots.

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Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... whats worst than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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Win industrial estate, Newry

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Cleavlin has a shmaaala dik

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what is purple and fly? - a purple flying.

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Dyslexics are teople poo

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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LOLLLLLL! Lakers? making me laugh so hard! LMAO

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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