What did the mom say to her clinically depressed son? You're dad died

What did the man say while he was in surgery? Nothing, he was in surgery.

FREE SEX! Now that I have your attention.............

Why did the black man pick up a bucket of fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

why did the plane crash because it was 9-11

who was the alien over LA? adalia rose

who is jacked and looks like a beast? • James Cornish

What's black and gets in trouble a lot? A dog with black fur that has not been well trained.

Why did the chicken run across the road? It was 9/11

yo mama so stupid that when she stared at an orange jucie carton for 20 minutes cause it said consatrate

how does an Arab scare someone He does a countdown

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

Jimmy said he would never beat his wife, so why did he do it anyway? Because he was a hypocrite.

What's worse than rain on your wedding day? You scheduling your wedding to be held on an aircraft carrier on december 7th 1941.

Who wants pizza crusts?

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. I don't know, I've had a bad day, I can't think straight. Why do you keep asking me these questions? Always talking at me, everyday it's the same - why can't you just shut up?! I would be better off dead, then it would stop, this suffocating blackness. I need to escape...I'm going to do it tonight...pills, something like that...I don't care any longer. Goodbye.

*Knock knock* Who's there? No one answers so the man opens the door and gets stabbed 7 times in the chest

Why didnt jimmy go to school? He had a hangover

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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