whats the difference between a door knob? a milk carton, because people have legs so they can walk !!!!!

whats long ,hard and full of sea men ? a sumureen

you are getting chased by a lion, a tiger, and a zebra. What do you do???? Get off the Merry-go-round.

A farmer was robbed and complained to the sheriff's department that he suspected it was a black man behind the crime. "How do you know this for sure?" The sheriff asked him. He replied, "I chased him into the night, it was dark and I couldn't see him"

Why didn't Timmy have a girlfriend ??? Because he's a Fruit bowl !

Why did Jimmy miss a question on his test? He put D

Who hacks darts? • Jack Nolan aka Bowlbot 300 J-Bowls

How did the chicken know where he was going? He had a map.

Why did the black man shoot the white guy? the white man was about to hurt the black mans family.

i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

what did the african say after he got beat by the cops? wow i really shouldn't have sliced that mans head off.

Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

A horse walks into a bar. He was blind.

What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!! Everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!!

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

Knock Knock Who's There? Jerry Jerry Who? Jerry Sandusky, I've come to rape your kids.

Will there be love in your future? Click the hand with the love-line that is closest to yours

What do you call a black man that works with out pay? A volunteer

What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

why couldn't the boy use the computer He could i meant could

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

I AM SATAN, YOU SHALL LOVE ME BEFORE EVERYBODY ELSE! YOU SHALL STONE THY INSOLENT CHILDREN! THY SHALL R*PE AND KILL IN MY NAME! YOU SHALL HANG MY SON ON THE CROSS WHICH I SACRIFICED BECAUSE HE IS IMMORTAL/BECAUSE I LOVE YOU? "Moral" "Man": Joke is on you, who do you think I am, God?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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