John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

What's do a woman's vagina and a camel's toe have in common? Other than being parts of two mammals, they have nothing in common.

What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

what do you get when you give an eevee a french stone? Napoleon!!!

Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

A man walks into a bar. He gets wasted and forgets the punchline.

why did the kid fall off the swing? someone threw a fridge at him

Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

What's the best part of any family reunion? Sodomy.

A jew a muslim and a catholic walk into a doctors office. The doctor is arrested for raping a child and his office closes. The Jew and Muslim find another doctor andthe Catholic dies because he had aids

What's funnier than the Holocaust? HA!

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you BUT The roses are wilting The violets are dead The sugar bowl's empty And so is your head

Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

Q: What do you get if you combine a melody, instrumentation, rhythm, and vocals? A: Um, music, you idiot.

Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

What's green, long, and covered in forks? Grass. I lied about the forks.

what does a gay horse eat heeyyyyy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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