Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Yo momma so fat you have aids

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What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

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One day i woke up, and found my wife dead on the floor. lol.

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What was the blind man's favorite game? Marco Polo

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

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Why did the black man give his seat to a white man? Because the white man had a leg injury, and the black man was being a courteous good samaritan.

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Picture This, you are going down the freeway in a yellow four-door banana, going 75 mph and all 4 tires blow out, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? Theres no bones in ice cream.

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Knock knock Who's there Knock knock Who's there Knock knock Who's there Never mind

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Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Why was the black guy charged for murder? He killed his wife.

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What's for dinner? Flesh from when your brother was alive and your blood.

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Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

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Last night, I went fishing, caught a fish, brought it home, grilled it, ate it, and went to bed.

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How many pieces of gum are in 5 gum? 5. i meen 7

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Where do dizzy cows go? In circles...

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What do your mum and dad have in common Not much your dads dead

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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Knock knock, Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana Smith, I'm here for the Smith Family Reunion.

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Thumbs up if you're reading this in 2015!

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Je veux avoir des relations sexuelles avec toi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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