ding dong thats right no knock on door anymore

What do you call a black person born in America? American.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some men like Cheese, I have aids.

Q: What happened to the monkey when he jumped off the tree. A: He died Q: Why did the second monkey jump off of the tree A: He was attatched to the first monkey Q: Why did the third monkey jump off the tree A: Peer Pressure

what did the orange say to the other orange? we are both oranges.

Knock Knock Who’s there? Who Who who? Who who who Who who who who? Who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who…

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Viking are all fighting over a piece of land. The piece of land was the whole of England and this was the beginning of the Noman conquest in 1066.

What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car and die.

So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

So this Horse walked into a bar... Just kidding, it was Sarah Jessica Parker.

What has four legs, but cannot walk? A giraffe with polio.

Your at your local street corner and find a woman, the fact that she has balls dose not stop you from inviting her into your car.

spell backwards: taco cat

A woman went outside for some fresh air.

Guess what I saw... Wood, I'm a carpenter.

Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first baby. Why did the third baby fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

Knock knock! Who's there? The doorbell wasn't working.

Once upon of time there was a chicken. It crossed the road and everybody made fun of him. The End

what do you order when it's a sunday in nyc during a solar eclipse on a leap year past 12:00 pm? what ever you like

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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