how doyou wake up lady gaga youu poke er face

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courestaveesh garasow prau varadesh

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What is a Mexican's favorite holiday? Christman

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Why did hellen keller's dog kill itself? You would to if your name was, AIIEEEEIUUUUHGH!

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A bartender walks up to a church and a synagogue

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Mom: Are you going to jump of a cliff just cause your friends are? Kid: You got married to dad cause you were the last lonely whore left of all your friends. And you wanna talk to me about peer pressure. Mom: Go jump.

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What's worse than finding a Worm in your Apple? being Mauled to death.

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What did the paraplegic boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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Jerry Sandusky walks up to the reception desk at a day care center. What does the lady at the desk say? Nothing, she promptly gives Mr. Sandusky his son and they leave.

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There was 3 floors in a building. The man outside was watering plants. The man on the first floor was doing laundry. The man on the second floor was peeing out the window because the toilet wasn't working. The man on the third floor was cutting vegetables and accidentally dropped his knife out the window. Now, the four men all went out to tell what they did that day. The man on the third floor said that he was cutting veggies and dropped his knife out the window. The man on the second floor said that he got his wiener cut off. The man on the first floor said that he was just doing laundry. Then, the man outside said that he was watering plants and found a delicious sausage on the ground and he ate it.

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Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

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Q. What did the man say when he beat his video game? A. "I beat my video game." Q. What did the man say after his favorite sports team missed the playoffs? A. "My favorite sports team missed the playoffs." Q. What did the man say when a murderer was in his house? A. Nothing. He was dead.

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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One day, a Hippo was riding a scooter and an ant was sitting on the back seat. Suddenly they meet with an accident. They both fall from the scooter on their heads but only the hippo gets hurt. How??? Because the ant was wearing a helmet.

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What is black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Why did the man get a tattoo? A: he wanted to express himself.

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What did one tree say to the other? "Hey Phil, how's it going?

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everyone dislike this

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What's red, fast, and flies through the air? A tomato in a plane.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock knock Who's there? The chicken

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Q. How many babies does it take to paint a room? A. Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What is blue and smells like the sea The ocean

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how come the exorcist eat crème brülé? because that deserves a carlsburg

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Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road. Because roads were not invented then dumbass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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