Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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What happens when you give someone a free chocolate bar? ThEeyroast it and vapourise it intheir hands....no they eat it

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Three Jews get on a train to Stockholm. How many get off at Stockholm. None. The train went straight to Auschwitz.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A man walks into a bar. He gets wasted and forgets the punchline.

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Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She was a donut.

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Why did the man reach for his gun? Because he wanted to kill someone.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

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Womens rights

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hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

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A man walks into a bar... The steal bar hurt his face and had to get stitches.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

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Why is a building called a building when it's already been built? My pinky is pink and my liver helps me live.

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding two worms in your apple. and being an orphan.

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What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

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What do you call a gay Chinese math teacher? A gay Chinese math teacher.

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Why did the black man shoot the white guy? the white man was about to hurt the black mans family.

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How did the chicken know where he was going? He had a map.

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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whats long ,hard and full of sea men ? a sumureen

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What do you call mexicans running down the hallway? JAIL BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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