Why is a building called a building when it's already been built? My pinky is pink and my liver helps me live.

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What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

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What do you call a gay Chinese math teacher? A gay Chinese math teacher.

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding two worms in your apple. and being an orphan.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

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Womens rights

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hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

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A man walks into a bar... The steal bar hurt his face and had to get stitches.

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whats long ,hard and full of sea men ? a sumureen

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Why did the black man shoot the white guy? the white man was about to hurt the black mans family.

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How did the chicken know where he was going? He had a map.

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A farmer was robbed and complained to the sheriff's department that he suspected it was a black man behind the crime. "How do you know this for sure?" The sheriff asked him. He replied, "I chased him into the night, it was dark and I couldn't see him"

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Why didn't Timmy have a girlfriend ??? Because he's a Fruit bowl !

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Why did Jimmy miss a question on his test? He put D

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you are getting chased by a lion, a tiger, and a zebra. What do you do???? Get off the Merry-go-round.

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i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

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what did the african say after he got beat by the cops? wow i really shouldn't have sliced that mans head off.

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Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

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Q: What do you do when you see a man with no arms and no legs walking down the street? A: You wonder how the hell he is walking

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A horse walks into a bar. He was blind.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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