What did the red-haired barber say to the father who abandoned him at birth? Nothing. The father sat to the side and read a magazine as the barber cut the hair of his legitimate child, failing to recognize the irony of the situation.

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goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, im scared of toasters

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Your mommas so fat she jumped into the ocean and immediately had to start swimming.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her she is a burnette.

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Steve: Ask me if I'm a tree. John: Are you a tree? Steve: No.

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A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

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FOOL TOP COMMENT IS MINE!

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How can you tell the difference between a black man and a white man? Quite easily actually.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why do I write Anit-jokes. Because I'm very bad at delevering good punchlines. They generally fall flat.

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1d

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A man walks into a bar, and says to the bartender, "Do you know where the library is located?" The bartender describes to him that the closest library is three blocks down, next to the red brick building with a green roof.

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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

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What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

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What do you call the worst band ever? Nickelback.

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A circus clown riding the cutest miniture Shetland pony both fall over a cliff and die.

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Why don't carrot tops souls ? They just don't

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What did the redneck say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators.

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A guy walks into a bar. But it was a solid steel bar and suffered severe wounds and a concussion. Lucky for him a bystander saw this happen and called 911. The man was transported to a hospital where he eventually made a full recovery and returned to work after one year.

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So a black man steals a bike Because it was unlocked, and that was just poor planning.

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what did the Nazi do when his Jewish rabbit died? silly Nazi rabbits don't have religion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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