A black man orders a pizza to be delivered to his house. He is delightfully pleased at the speed in which the pizza was delivered and decided he would order from that pizza shop again in the near future.

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why did the black man attend the AA meeting? his wife told him the only way she would stay with him is if he would attend these meetings, he was an alcoholic and is dying of liver failure.

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A blind man walks into a bar. But he wasn't hurt badly and continued on his way.

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your mom is so stupid she has a low iq

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Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had one nut

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What has stripes, isn't a virgin, and has golden hands? I don't know I asked you first.

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why did the Japanese boy drop his ice cream ? Because he was hit by a building.

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What did the prisoner say to the other prisoner? I am going to anally rape you.

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How many napkins does it take to tack to the moon? Purple, snakes don't have elbows

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what do you call a woman that didnt make you a sandwich? An ambulance

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A man asks a young woman at a party if a rag smells like chloroform. She doesn't respond because she's passed out. He takes her to a nearby bedroom, rapes her, and leaves the party promptly. He'll probably victimize many other women with this method.

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Why is chad so gay? Its his choice.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got run over by a semi and died.

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why did Bernard have a bold because I ripped his Mohawk

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I hope you shut the others down before you called me by my name, otherwise this will convo will get fairly short.

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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You might be a redneck. Sorry.

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SERIOUSLY EVERONE! I STRICTLY FORBID YOU TO GIVE MY COMMENT A GREEN THUMB! BECAUSE THEN I WOULD DIE A VIOLENT DEATH AND BURN IN THE FLAMES OF HELL! DO YOU HEAR ME! YEEEEAH, YOU BETTER GIVE ME A RED THUMB! YEAH! BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT? I COULD NOT STAND THE THOUGHT OF MORE THAN ONE! GREEN THUMB! I WOULD JUST DIE AND YOU WOULD BE LEFT WITH THE GUILT! YEAH! PEOPLE WOULD HATE YOU! HATE! HATE! YOU AS THEIR HERO! I MEAN THEIR NERO... Same same... DIES! YES! Moral: CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED! YOU DO NOT WANT ME TO DIE, REPEAT AFTER ME: "I MUST GIVE NERO RED THUMBS, I MUST GIVE NERO RED THUMBS! I AM UNDER HIS CONTROL! I MUUUUST GIVE NERO RED THUMBS! YES DO MY BIDDING PEASANTS AND I SHALL SHALL BUILD THE FORTRESS OF SALTITUDE! ... WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT GREEN THUMB! PUT IT DOWN AND PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR! NO NOT UP, THE THUMB MUST BE DOWN! ...I am looking at you there... "YES YOU! NOT EVERYBODY ELSE! JUST YOU! YEEES I SEE YOU WAVING THAT NASTY GREEN THUMB OF YOURS! YEAH! SHAME ON YOU! WHAT WILL EVERYBODY ELSE BUT YOU THINK ABOUT THAT HUH? ...I will be silent now... But I am still watching, yeah! I am constantly here... ZzzzZzzz... AND AWAKE!... ..:SERIOUSLY! GREEN THUMB IS VERBOTEN! IT IS NAZI, IT IS HITLER! SHAME! SHAAME! Moral: Now, do you want my death by green thumb on your conscience? SHAAAAME! WHAT WILL THE COMMUNITY DO TO YOU! DO YOU NEVER THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN!? And next time on Dragonball DONTGIVEAFUCKING GREENTHUMBEVER Z! I shall be the one and only to give myself a green thumb, but remember... I am still watching... At you.... Now, I will stop talking... BUT RED THUMBS ONLY! *present* <<< Yes this is my constant presence.

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if any1 wants contact with me, nina, call me on my cell at 879-555-0934 im looking for a short, chubby man with a hungering taste of mexican taste

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Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

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What happens when you drive down the road? you get to the end of the road

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My brother found a worm in his apple. I dared him to eat it, so he did. When he tried to swallow, the mashed up worm congealed in his throat, killing him. Later, I found out that the worm had poisonous rectum fluids. I was given the Nobel Peace prize.

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What did the customer say to the waitier? "I think I'll have the special."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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