What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

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Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

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Why did the student go to university? To pursue a higher education.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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what did the mexican cop say to the mexican drug dealer? can i get some of that

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What's the difference between an ice cream cone and a pile of dead babies? I don't cum on the ice cream before I eat it.

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? The tea he was drinking was at an unsuitable temperature for consumption resulting in the scalding of his mouth.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he had poor coordination.

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What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the priest say to the little boy? "Reading antijokes in rapid succession takes almost all humor from them."

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why was the man at the tuna fish factory mad? because he was going through intense emotional trauma happening in his life because of problems with his wife and child.

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What did Geoar Bush say after a journalist ask what he was going to do about Katrina? Where gonna find her we do think she has some connection with Alkida .

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What drops its lunch every day? Yo mom

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One time i was in north philly and bought milk, then i came home and drank it.

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What do you call a black guy who walks into your house and takes your stuff. A repoman, pay your taxes next time

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Why do Native Americans own Casinos? Because it's a very profitable business situation.

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Two gorillas walked into a bar and it hurt

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Why is Sophie incapable of Lifeguarding correctly? Because she only has limited use of all of her senses , especially hearing,

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Guess what my dog can do? Bark.

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What is the name of Steven Hawkins condom.... Anti virus

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Where's my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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