What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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I couldnt remember who Rhiana used to date. Then it hit me.

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Knock Knock! Whos there? The Game!

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What's the difference between Wolfjob and a Jew? Wolfjob is attractive.

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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A white man walks down an alley and sees two black men. They say hello and then are on their way.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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dude... what would you do if i punched you in the face? i would pee on you

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Why did the door close? Because I closed it.

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roses are red violets are blue i am bipolar so am i

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Pain Olympics.

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What do you call this? A sentence in English.

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Q: If it takes a chicken a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, then how long would it take a monkey to kick the seeds off of a dill pickle. A: I don't know. That's a stupid question.

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Thumbs up if you're reading this in 2015!

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? .....Neither have they.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

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What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

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why did the man throw his clock out of he window? he was mentally insane.

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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anal seepage

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what do you call an arse bandit? lady gaga's tanning salon attendants 3rd cousins dog chauffeur, roberto

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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