You are being like super pervert now, I would never ever even try weed, cocaine is the real deal, you know I do not mean that. Anyway does it work on everyone?

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A: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: I got NoEyeDeer!!!

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How do the Kardashians change a light bulb? They buy a new mansion

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*Knock knock* Who's there? No one answers so the man opens the door and gets stabbed 7 times in the chest

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile XD

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah...

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. I don't know, I've had a bad day, I can't think straight. Why do you keep asking me these questions? Always talking at me, everyday it's the same - why can't you just shut up?! I would be better off dead, then it would stop, this suffocating blackness. I need to escape...I'm going to do it tonight...pills, something like that...I don't care any longer. Goodbye.

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Some people devote their life to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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What do Batman and Harry Potter have in common? Their parents are dead.

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Your mom is so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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How many of my Dad's "fishing buddies" have gone down to the basement for a "meeting", but never returned? 37 so far. I'm concerned. I seriously have never seen my dad fish. Pretty sure he doesn't own a fishing pole.

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What does Helen Keller's parents do when she gets in trouble? They leave the plunger in the toilet!!!

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Yo Mama so stupid because she's been addicted to marijuana since she was a teenager, and has lost many brain cells. Resulting in her forgetting simple things like your birthday, her own name, etc. She has also developed lung cancer. She's predicted to die in two months if she continues to smoke as she does now.

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Why didnt jimmy go to school? He had a hangover

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What do you call it when a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Vicar meet for a drink at the bar? A social gathering.

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I am a joke. I am funny.

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Did u hear about the fire at the circus? 12 people died.

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A chinchilla and an octopus walk into a bar. What do they say? The octopus says Hello but the chinchilla says nothing because chinchillas cannot talk.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's been bound and gagged by kidnappers who are holding her for ransom.

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Are you one of those gay rapists that flame around telling people no all the time?

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What did the Jew say right before a boy threw a quarter in a fountain? Make a wish.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Not the case here, though.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops