Whats white, black, and red all over? A penguin on fire

Dear Diary, I am down to my last drops of water, I'm going to die soon. Wait, a man is offering me some water! Theres still hope, wait he said sike and ran off. I'm going to die alone.

watch me nae nae

Where's my tractor?

YOLO You only like Oreos

Henry was struck by a train. He was mourned by his parents.

Three blind men walk into a bar, and, no... wait, sorry just one; so one blind man walked into a bar, and... uh, okay, so it was actually more of a small post. This is pretty much just a plausible, yet unfortunate event. My bad.

I'm sn otter

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A typical out-door activity.

Roses are red. Violets are red. Sunflowers are red. My garden is on fire.

How do you get a clown to get off a swingset? Chop off his arms and legs.

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. They have been planning a girls night out for weeks.

What happened to that guy who fell? He died from car accident 3 days later.

Why did the chines were sunglasses? It was sunny.

I saw GESUS and SHE's BLACK

What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

What's the worst place to land when parachuting off an airplane? A. In the middle of an ocean B. In a war zone C. Inside an active volcano D. In a justin beiber concert

Your mother is so fat, that recent test results have proved she is morbidly obese.

squash squash who squash my ass

Why did the young man not want to go to school? Because he had a large tumor on the left side of his face.

Roses are Red, violets are blue,love can not tell how much I love you!!

Why did the boy with one arm have no friends? He was a cereal killer from Ireland.

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

A kangeroo is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many waffles does it take to get to the moon? NO, silly. Snakes don't have armpits.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...