What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

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What did the blind, deaf, and dumb child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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how many jews can you fit in a volkswagon? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 6 million in the ash trey.

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A black man walks into KFC. the whole room..THE GAME.

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Charles Manson is innocent.

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What has two arms and two legs? A human being.

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John has 58 candy bars. He eats 40, what does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

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How do I get to Carnegie Hall? The address is 881 Seventh Avenue at 57th street in New York. it's beside the Russian Tea Room and almost directly across from the IESE school of business. The Russian Tea Room has a large bright red awning out front and a large carving of three dancing bears on the face of the building, the bears are covered in gold leaf. You can't miss it.

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Miss Hoolie: Hello, PC Plum. What's the story in Balamory? PC Plum: I'm arresting you for the sexual molestation of twenty children.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A black man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" He says as the Klu Klux Klan beat him with sticks

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Magic.

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so there was a frog a bear and a walrus... i forgot how the rest goes but they all die because of a nuclear holocaust

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Your mom's so ugly that after being ridiculed for for year she became very self conscience and killed herself. Her family was very sad for many years.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Knock knock Who's there? Micheal Jordan. Micheal Jordan who? Your an idiot

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What did the guy at the office order on his pizza. Pepperoni :)

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How do you get 4 Jews in a car? Open the door and tell them politely to get in.

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my wife came out of the kitchen....

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What do old people break when they fight? A sweat

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road? It got ran over by a car!

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How did the young child react when a bullet went through his head? He fell to the ground and his heart stopped beating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops