Is your refrigerator running? no then your food is probably beginning to rot

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What do you get when you cross a horse with a house cat ? A law suit for animal cruelty

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Why's Jeds head so big? Curley wurly.

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What can fly? Lots of things

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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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What is just as real as a unicorn? World peace

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There once was a man who had a penis that was so big, his girlfriend liked it a lot. A year later they got married and had kids, but then the man lost his accounting job and things went downhill.

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What is funnier than an anti-joke? My SAT scores.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

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bish bash bosh giz a nosh

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why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

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which sex position produces the ugliest children? go ask ur mom

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Knock Knock. Who's there? .

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid the avoid the nuclear bomb at hiroshima

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Three blondes are stranded on an island. They all die from starvation.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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bryden is a faggot

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I like my wine just like how I like my woman 5 years old and in my basement.

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A man walked into this bar, and said ouch.

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I was walking down the street and a guy fell down right next to me. He woke up a hour later and asked "what smells like year old cat pee?" I said "year old cat pee retard honestly." Then he died. Morale don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to.

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When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

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A black man and a white woman cross paths while walking on the sidewalk. After greeting each other, they continue on their way. Each goes on to enjoy their respective day free of racism and sexism.

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A blue whale walks into a bar. The bartender says "What can I get for you?" The blue whale says "EEEEEEYYYYYYYOOOOHHHHHMMMMMMM"

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A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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