Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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Wha did the fireman say when he burnt his finger? Shit.

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How many Frenchmen does it take to surrender? Probably just one.

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A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

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Q)What is the best way to get the bitches? A) You shouldn't try. You could go to prison on bestiality charges.

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Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

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A guy walks into a bar. He then comes home at 4 a.m. to beat his wife.

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? I would probably spend somewhere under 3 dollars at a store, but only if somebody else drives me. I really don't want to drive, not in this gas shortage. You know what...forget it, Klondike Bars make my teeth hurt due to my sensitive teeth problem. I know I should get that sensitive teeth tooth paste, but I always forget when at the store.

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How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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How do you get a black man out of KFC? Tell him to get out

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yo mama is so dumb, she got all Fs on her report

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because it tastes good.

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How do you make an anti-joke? Like this....

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How do you confuse a blonde? Wait...what?

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whats worse than worldwarII world war iii

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Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: One is a person, one is a food.

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A woman wearing a very fancy, striped sweater walks into a bar and sits down. The bar tender asks her “what’ll it be”?. The girl replies “Just a beer for me”. As this happens a child in Africa dies from complications due to starvation.

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If Johnny can hold 7 bottles of Vodka in one hand and 6 cans of beer in the other, what does Johnny have? A drinking problem.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a pineapple? There will be no funeral for the pineapple..

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You're flying over a lake in your canoe and the wheels fall off. How many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? None! because ice-Cream doesn't have legs!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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