A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

-Look! Up in the sky! -It's a bird! -Yep.

I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A Stick!

A wise man once said, "I am wise".

knock knock who's there... you you who who the fuck are you

Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

What do cows in Africa say? Moo

Why can't the T-rex clap? Because it's extinct

What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

Person 1: Hey how's your day? Person 2: Good Person 1: Cool

What does a horse and a donkey have in common? They are both very different from trees

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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