I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

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Why can't black people swim? Because most African American individuals grow up in inner urban cities where they have little or no access to swimming facilities.

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What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

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What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

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How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

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umm idk what joke to write down so yea and so rate this a thumbs up! okay bc this is an awesome joke...right right right yea ik!

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Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

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How was copper wire invented? Probably some scientist did that

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Why did robin get in the batmobile? Batman told him to

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ey can i pick your scabs plzz

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im gay because im gay

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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A: How do you make a fire with two sticks? B: Ask your mother, we did it last night.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police Ahh shit

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Always bring food to the zoo. It's not the animals who placed the signs not to feed them.

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A Jew and a Nazi have dinner together...... they both immensely enjoyed the wine.

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A doctor walks into a room after a woman has just given birth to her baby Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news Mom: Whats the bad news? Doctor: Your Baby is Ginger. Mom: So what's the good news? Doctor: It's dead.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

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What did the rock say to the other rock? It didnt

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Why did the black guy punch the Mexican guy? Because they were in a fight.

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

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how do you know if a black man's been on your computer it's gone

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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