What do you do when you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologize.

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

your mommy so gehto shes black

170

Guy: If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I would put I and u together. Girl: Really because if I could r-arrange the Alphabet I would put f and u together

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

What did the rainbow sun say to the flower-faced elephant? "Want some tea and hamsters?" I'm addicted to acid.

Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

Why did the Mexican wait outside Home Depot all day? He was hoping to be hired as day-labor to provide for his family.

knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

A man rubs a magic lamp nothing happens

What did Pittsburgh say to Philadelphia? .........Lightbulb.........

What do you do when you find a robber holding a 19 pound sack of poultry? Think life through and try to find out how you had this coming.

An irishman walks out of a pub

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Why did the koala bear fall out of the tree? Because it's dead.

whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

why did the jew drop his coin? beacuse a nazi killed him before he put it in his pocket

What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

Why is the sky blue? Because when you look up at the sky, especially during the daytime, the sky is giving a bluish color.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...