A man visits his doctor for an annual checkup. "Doc, I feel great! I'm running 5 miles a day, I just got promoted at work, and sex with my wife has never been better!" A few weeks later, his doctor calls him in. When he arrives, the doctor looks at him grimly. "I have some bad news. You have lung cancer." "But how? I don't smoke. My wife doesn't smoke. I have never felt better." The doctor pats him on the back, reassuringly. "This may be true, but you still have lung cancer."

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Why did the blonde turn red Because some one lit her on fire

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How do you make a japanese man horny? Mutilate his girlfriend

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Do your parents know you're gay?

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roses are red and violets are in fact violet

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How did the ball fall from the cup? It didn't, it happened to be tied to a string attached to the cup.

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A blond walks into McDonalds. She orders and leaves.

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What do you call a black man? A person

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends. How hard can you throw?

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked

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why couldn't the blind man hear? because he was also deaf.

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If i wanted your 2 cents i'd rob you

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A man walks into a bar, Esept it wasn't a bar and he was running.

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What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

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Poop.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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What's the difference between an ice cream cone and a pile of dead babies? I don't cum on the ice cream before I eat it.

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*Knock Knock* "Who's There?" "Delivery" "Oh right, I just ordered pizza"

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? The list goes on.

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what do you call aca that got pushed in a pool ? A WET PUSSY

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s s is for shit h h is for hit i i is for it t t is turtle

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What did the fish say after he

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look at your sister now look at me now look at your sister now look at me you probably have now realized that you cant see me.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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