What did the cow say to the other cow when the boy asked him for something to drink? Probably MOOO! Considering that cows cant say anything except for that

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A. Why did the man crash the car? B. Because the driver was a blind man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

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Girl: That's pretty big. Boy: That's what she said. Woman: Yes, I enjoys large genitals.

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Why was the anti-joke poster offended by all of the thumbs down? Because he didn't understand the concept of an anti-joke and instead submitted a childish, racist, incoherent lame 'joke'. This filled him with angst because he is uneducated and doesn't respond well to criticism.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was high.

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What's the difference between a black businessman and a white businessman? Their skin colour.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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what do you call an arse bandit? lady gaga's tanning salon attendants 3rd cousins dog chauffeur, roberto

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What does a Jew do when he finds money on the street? He picks it up and is probably happy it was there.

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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why did the man throw his clock out of he window? he was mentally insane.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

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Thumbs up if you're reading this in 2015!

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Q: If it takes a chicken a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, then how long would it take a monkey to kick the seeds off of a dill pickle. A: I don't know. That's a stupid question.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? .....Neither have they.

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your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Women's rights.

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How did the drug addict die? He got shot in a drive-by.

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What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

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Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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What is worse then finding an apple in your worm? Not a lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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