Tell my wife I died doing what I love... Not her

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

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Q: How is a cloud like orange juice? A: Neither have wheels.

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A muslim walks pass a bomb shop on his way to the international peace club.

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When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What happens when you give a Jew an iPhone? He says thank you and gives you a hug.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, no they're not. They're VIOLET. That's why they're called that. If they were blue, they would be called "Blues", or something of a similar nature. Don't be dumb.

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

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What do you call a black man with a brain injury? Mentally Disabled

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Roses are red Violets are too I am color blind How about you

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A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and then the mushroom walks out.

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What do you call a scottish drunk? a taxi

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a dog ate my homework but then he returned it on the lawn

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Q-how did the blind man cross the road? A-with a guide dog

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the little child orphan with no arms or legs get for christmas? CANCER and for his birthday A.I.D.S. R.I.P little orphan

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Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

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What did the president do for the people? ...

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a car? Because she was a woman.

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What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Pain Olympics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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