What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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Why didn't the family finish their picnic? Because a dog was sick all over the food.

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It's valentines today! My girlfriend died.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Jake. Walsh.

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what is brown and wet? Muddy water

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Why didn't the boy eat his food? because he wasn't hungry.

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- What do you call a black man who drives a bus? - An african american bus driver.

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Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

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Black...

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roses are red violets are black lewis norris has a fucking narra back

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, his mouth was full of it's intestines.

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shitted on em put your numbah 2s in the air if ya did it on em

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A christian and an atheist are in a bar. The christian says "if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior you will go to hell." The atheist replies "No I won't."

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The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Heavy rain came down and killed him.

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Your Mommy is a gas pump.

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If I met your mom before you was born, you would still be born.

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A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

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Chuck Norris can right-click with a mac mouse

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So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" It proceeds to then crap on the floor and walk out,because its a horse.

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What did the guy at the office order on his pizza. Pepperoni :)

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Why did the Billy flunk the test? His parents were killed in a refridgerator

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I'm not sure if you share videos, but this is a great anti-joke vid. Thank you for the consideration. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHydNGR9rrg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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