- Anti Joke

There's a skunk and a lawyer standing on the side of the road, what's the difference? There are tire marks infront of the skunk.

There are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?". The second one says, "Hey, look! A talkin' muffin!".

Mom: Are you going to jump of a cliff just cause your friends are? Kid: You got married to dad cause you were the last lonely whore left of all your friends. And you wanna talk to me about peer pressure. Mom: Go jump.

There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

I wrote a joke for 'Anti-Joke', I laughed, it was funny.

Q: Why was the man upset? A: He was kidnapped. Two cruel men tied him to a chair in an unknown location. This man was mistaken for someone who was planning to steal a big drug shipment. They beat him unmerciful, shocked him, and hit him in the head with a hammer, and threw him out in the street, with the belief of his death occurring. A driver stopped to help the man into the nearby hospital. The man was questioned about the physical appearance and whereabouts of these criminals. He remembered nothing, and sadly, they got away with this horrible crime.

Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first baby. Why did the third baby fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

whats brown and smells like poop? poop.

How many babies does it take to paint a house? That is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

Why couldn't the old man see? Because he was stabbed in the eye.

Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

what did the asian father say to his son after getting a c+ on a test? son you are working hard and i know you will do well

What did god say when he made the first african american? "I got about 3 more humans to go and about 400,000,000 more insects and plants"..

One cow, determined to make a difference in the world, gets killed in a meat packing plant. We killed him, and we killed his dreams.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 69

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did the house burn down? Obama

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

What's big and red and if it falls out of a tree and can kill you - a fire truck

Q: How many black people came KFC on June 31st? A: None because June 31st doesn't exist.

There's a skunk and a lawyer standing on the side of the road, what's the difference? There are tire marks infront of the skunk.

There are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?". The second one says, "Hey, look! A talkin' muffin!".

Mom: Are you going to jump of a cliff just cause your friends are? Kid: You got married to dad cause you were the last lonely whore left of all your friends. And you wanna talk to me about peer pressure. Mom: Go jump.

There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

I wrote a joke for 'Anti-Joke', I laughed, it was funny.

Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first baby. Why did the third baby fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

whats brown and smells like poop? poop.

What's clear and wet? water

How many babies does it take to paint a house? That is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

Why couldn't the old man see? Because he was stabbed in the eye.

children burning

Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

what did the asian father say to his son after getting a c+ on a test? son you are working hard and i know you will do well

What did god say when he made the first african american? "I got about 3 more humans to go and about 400,000,000 more insects and plants"..

Politics

One cow, determined to make a difference in the world, gets killed in a meat packing plant. We killed him, and we killed his dreams.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 69

#Cutforbieber - Cole g.

Anti Joke

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