hickory dickory dock no one cares

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didn't Johnny go to the party? He was aborted as a fetus

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a car that doesn't work? Broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between Dick Cheney and Obama? When Obama shoots someone in the face it's bin Laden.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you call an elephant crossing a fish? a elephant fish

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What did ine sweaty arab man say to the other sweaty arab man? A: "I'm sweaty"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How Many Blondes does it take to open a fridge. 1 Because most blondes are smart and can open fridges.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the black guy love his new shirt? Because it was 100% cotton

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the black guy good at basketball? When buying African American Slaves the masters often sought attributes that would be useful for manual labor such as agricultural work. The slaves who met these criteria had more chances to pass on their better, more beneficial genetic info via sexual intercourse with other slaves. Through many generations the most beneficial traits such as fine motor control in the phalanges and overall strength were passed down. This is very similar to Darwin's Theory of Evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

who wants to hear a joke about the broken pencil? to late, its sharpened

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how makes licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? depends on how determined you are to find out

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to drown as a result of climate change.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is paper white? Cause that's how they make paper.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why do black people have dark skin? because they were born that way

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If life gives you lemons, throw them at people.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did Cinderella wear at the ball? Clothes

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When life gives you melons, your dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's 50 feet tall, wears glasses and plays dungeons and dragons. A nerd, I lied about the 50 feet part.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops