- Anti Joke

A man and his friend go hunting,one falls in a hole and appears dead. The friend calls 911 and asks what to do, the operator says ok first we need to make sure he's dead. The friend checks his pulse and finds out he is living, then an ambulance is sent and the hunter lives with minor injuries.

What's black and has a beary taste? A black bear.

What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag? One carries groceries and the other molests children

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

Q: What did ine sweaty arab man say to the other sweaty arab man? A: "I'm sweaty"

Why did the black guy love his new shirt? Because it was 100% cotton

Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

how makes licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? depends on how determined you are to find out

Why was the black guy good at basketball? When buying African American Slaves the masters often sought attributes that would be useful for manual labor such as agricultural work. The slaves who met these criteria had more chances to pass on their better, more beneficial genetic info via sexual intercourse with other slaves. Through many generations the most beneficial traits such as fine motor control in the phalanges and overall strength were passed down. This is very similar to Darwin's Theory of Evolution.

How Many Blondes does it take to open a fridge. 1 Because most blondes are smart and can open fridges.

who wants to hear a joke about the broken pencil? to late, its sharpened

Why did Sally fall off the swingset? She had no arms. Knock ,Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Mr.Green walks into the class. He is alone with no wife and no kids and suffers from depression. His salary is below average and he can't pay the rent this week so he'll probably get evicted. He has aids. He will die in 2 weeks.

Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to drown as a result of climate change.

How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did Hunter cross the road? No one cares, unless he gets hit.

Is your refrigerator running? no then your food is probably beginning to rot

Roses are gray Violets are gray Pansies are gray Daffodils are gray I am a dog :)

why was six afraid of seven? prison changes a person

Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

Nice belt.

Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

whats funner than nailing a baby to a wall, ripping it off