What did the man do when he went to the toilet went toilet

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he thought he saw a dangerous predator in the area and crossed the road in an attempt to flee the dangerous situation.

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1 + 1 ? Hmm, I don't know, maybe 2 but I could be wrong.

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What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

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what did the scene kid get for christmas? a gift card which he used ironically.

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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How do you confuse a bus driver? Go invisible and throw bananas at him

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Why does Spongebob go to work? Because he's ready.

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They should introduce a filtering system on here. That way any repeated jokes, or idiots taking up a page with a copy and paste routine, could be simply erased by those who are bored with them or find them irritating. [L]

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216-409-7176 Call me.

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why did the gay person cry? he was said that he couldn't marry his boyfriend.

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knock knock who's there? rude, interrupting cow rude, interrupting cow who? just kidding, its steve. cows can't talk

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Why did the woman go to the kitchen? The same reason she went to the bathroom, she needed to wash her hands because she was finger painting. Her husband was using the bathroom.

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Bum: Excuse me, can you spare some change? Rich man: No

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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What do you call two men kissing? Gay.

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Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, but the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk!

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So a deaf man is listening to the radio.

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How many apple does it take to turn a fridge into a water buffalo? Yellow tactics because of the Minty fragrance

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

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I really don't like Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off of a guard tower.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: Art.

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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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