Why did the woman go to the kitchen? The same reason she went to the bathroom, she needed to wash her hands because she was finger painting. Her husband was using the bathroom.

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knock knock who's there? rude, interrupting cow rude, interrupting cow who? just kidding, its steve. cows can't talk

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why did the gay person cry? he was said that he couldn't marry his boyfriend.

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216-409-7176 Call me.

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What do you call two men kissing? Gay.

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there is a blonde, red head, and brunet held captive in afghanistan. The people say whats your last word to the red head, she says tornado... they turned and she escaped, they say to the brunet what is your last word, she says tsunami.. they turn and she escaped. They go to the blonde and say what is your last word, she says fire... she is then shot rapidly and she dies.

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So a deaf man is listening to the radio.

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How do you kill a blonde? Choke her.

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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Roses are red my underwear is brown I just sharted my pants

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: Art.

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A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says to the barman: "Barman! Give me a whiskey and ............................................................coke." The barman says: "Why the big pause?" to which the Polar bear replies: "Well uhm my father had big paws"

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Why is there such a big box because there is some writing down here :)

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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

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A giraffe walks into a bar.... just kidding, a giraffe wouldnt fit in a bar.

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How many apple does it take to turn a fridge into a water buffalo? Yellow tactics because of the Minty fragrance

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what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

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Why couldn't the blind man drive? His sight impairment made him unable to fulfill the task without harming himself and potentially other people.

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I really don't like Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off of a guard tower.

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Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, but the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk!

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How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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a kid named austin walks into school and gets kicked in the nuts byyy

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Obamacare

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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