A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

Two drums and a sybol fall off the edge of a cliff. They hit a random pedestrian at the bottom killing him instantly. da-dum ch

A cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. Well, okay, it doesn't actually order it. It more of meows in a begging fashion and the bartender, being a kind individual, gets the lost animal a bowl of milk. But who's to argue semantics?

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Bees inside of your eyeballs.

i dont know why but when ever i see jew they always say "whats up?"

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

TELL

A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

What's worse than World War II? World War III.

Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

What do you call a Muslim in control of a plane? A pilot

Winter

What do you call a black man that has just gotten out of jail? A former criminal who has served his time in prison and is now trying to redeem himself by becoming a respectable member of his community

How did superman always save the day? Because he was a fictional tv actor so he could do whatever he wanted to.

A Black man and a racist walk into a bar. There was a ruckus.

Three blondes are stranded on an island. They all die from starvation.

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Who shit in my garden?

Why did Tim sit on the chair? Because potato.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why did the chicken cross the street? Because the light was red and cars had stopped.

What is blue and smells like the sea The ocean

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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