What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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i dont know why but when ever i see jew they always say "whats up?"

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What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Bees inside of your eyeballs.

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What do you call a black man that has just gotten out of jail? A former criminal who has served his time in prison and is now trying to redeem himself by becoming a respectable member of his community

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How did superman always save the day? Because he was a fictional tv actor so he could do whatever he wanted to.

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What do you call a Muslim in control of a plane? A pilot

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Winter

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What do you get if you give a black man more than 5 watermelons? Jeff the Killer.

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What's brown and sticky? Molasses.

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how did the doctors try to cure stephen hawking? turn him off then back on again

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This is an anti-anti-joke.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because the light was red and cars had stopped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

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How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kelly Oh hi Kelly! Long time no see! I know! I've been my working fingers to the bone ever since I got that promotion and I barely have any free time! That must be tough. It is but it pays bills! Being a mother of three isn't a task for the faint of heart. Now Kelly,I was wondering how you thought of the remodeled kitchen....

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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What is blue and smells like the sea The ocean

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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