So a person asked a blonde in America which was closer: the Moon or Canada? The blonde responded "Canada"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between gun and penis? A child doesn't start to cry when gun shoots in its mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats white and sticky glue

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being raped What's worse than being Raped. Being Raped 2 times by a Giant Scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock! Who's There? Mike Mike who? Mike who you just called and told to come over Oh ok, come in

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why shouldn't you worry about having a baby? Because with all these jokes, babies aren't even going to be around anymore. "What's funnier than a dead baby?" "A dead baby in a clown costume"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats fat yellow and diabetic Brett lai lan

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong is an astronaut. Michael Jackson abuses little kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A dog walk into a bar, and the bartender asks, "What"ll it be?" The dog then breaks into tears as he realizes the bartender is his father's gay husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What would happen if RAINN Wilson, the actor, married Michael MANN, the director? They'd probably be arrested; 2 men can't get married in California anymore (thanks a lot, Utah)!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it's in a chicken coop.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

69

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down -2

waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What was the joke about that woman with altsimers again? Ironically I forgot.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? statutory rape

thumb_up thumb_down -2

your mums so fat that shes HUGE!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the virgin say to the car salesmen? Hello, I'm really interested in buying a car today.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hold his family at gun point

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops