What do you call a midget on the moon? A midget.

Where did Susie go when the bomb went of? Everywhere?

what do u call a lesbian with long hair? a long haired lesbian.

What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

Womens rights !

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

what do you call a blond who likes human flesh a cannibal

What happens when you give someone a free chocolate bar? ThEeyroast it and vapourise it intheir hands....no they eat it

A man walks into a bar. He gets wasted and forgets the punchline.

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She was a donut.

Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? words

Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

why was the man walking in the kitchen? idk thats why i asked

How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

a horse nibbled a baby

What's the difference between a chair and an identical chair? Nothing.

Cornelius went to the dcotor and got a sticker and a lollipop for being a good patient. He later went home and shoved the lollipop stick up his dick hole and started wildly masturbating. I forgot to mention Cornelius was 42 years old.

What is in the center of our galaxy? Some stars, space, and nebula.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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