What's the difference between Dick Cheney and Obama? When Obama shoots someone in the face it's bin Laden.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms in it, what's worse than that? The holocaust, whats worse than that? Biting into an apple and finding 3 worms in it

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Once upon a time there was a pure and beautiful girl who lived with her step-mother and her two step-sisters. They made her live in the basement and had her do all the chores while they went to parties. Then social workers came and relocated her to a foster family.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a piano and a goldfish? One's a piano, the other is a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are Red You're Black and Blue My fists seemed to have taken A liking to you

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats funnier than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your momma is so fat that when she fell over, she couldn't get back up without help, and she probably got several bruises.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

sean punches bryce in the face, sean then says ow you just punched me in the face. that hurt

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make a plumber sad? You murder his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What kind of bread makes pickles? Dill Dough

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats white and can talk? Snow, i lied about the colour

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +4

OH LOOK I'M A SAILOR I KNOW NAUTICAL PHRASES! LIKE...... KNOTS AND MAST AND SHIP AND SEA AND STUFF

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how makes licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? depends on how determined you are to find out

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Mr.Green walks into the class. He is alone with no wife and no kids and suffers from depression. His salary is below average and he can't pay the rent this week so he'll probably get evicted. He has aids. He will die in 2 weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Chinese man and an american lived together. The Chinese man said to the american man, "I'm going to walk the dog." The American said "OK." Later that night they were eating dinner. The American said to the Chinese man, "I don't think that I've had this meat before. What is it?" The Chinese man replied, "The dog." The American, surprised, spewed out the food he was eating. "THE DOG!?" he yelled, shocked. The Chinese man replied, "Yes, I TOLD you I was going to wok the dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You know what's interesting about Polish people? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

2 sausages were in a frying pan. 1 sausage says it sure is hot in here, the other sausage says WTF a talking sausage!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a little boy takes his lacrosse stick to his mom and says "hey mom this is bob" the mom says "hi bob" and she says to her son "does bob say hi back?" and the boy says "no mom. hes a lacrosse stick."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?". The second one says, "Hey, look! A talkin' muffin!".

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops