A man walks into a bar. He gets wasted and forgets the punchline.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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why was the man walking in the kitchen? idk thats why i asked

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a horse nibbled a baby

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What's the difference between a chair and an identical chair? Nothing.

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Why is a building called a building when it's already been built? My pinky is pink and my liver helps me live.

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What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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Why was the girl crying? - Someone pooped on her face.

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What do you call a gay Chinese math teacher? A gay Chinese math teacher.

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How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

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your mama so fat she has a low self esteem

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Cornelius went to the dcotor and got a sticker and a lollipop for being a good patient. He later went home and shoved the lollipop stick up his dick hole and started wildly masturbating. I forgot to mention Cornelius was 42 years old.

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What is in the center of our galaxy? Some stars, space, and nebula.

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i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

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Why did Jimmy miss a question on his test? He put D

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Why didn't Timmy have a girlfriend ??? Because he's a Fruit bowl !

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men, men like men= men+bed

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you are getting chased by a lion, a tiger, and a zebra. What do you do???? Get off the Merry-go-round.

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whats long ,hard and full of sea men ? a sumureen

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Why can't helen keller drive? She never got her permit

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Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

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what did the african say after he got beat by the cops? wow i really shouldn't have sliced that mans head off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops