what is the best way to start a car? put in the key and turn it.

why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a doctor.

What does one call black men pushing a car up a hill? Black Car. What does one call white men pushing a car up a hill? White Car. What does one call Mexicans pushing a car up a hill? Grand Theft Auto

your social life.

The lion swallowed his pride.

What's the difference between a fat boy and a thin boy? Fizzy drinks!

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is an active member of a taliban.

If life though you lemons, through skittles at them and say tast the freakin rainbow.

Why did Sally fall of the swing set? Because she got hit with a mattress

Q: What happened to the monkey when he jumped off the tree. A: He died Q: Why did the second monkey jump off of the tree A: He was attatched to the first monkey Q: Why did the third monkey jump off the tree A: Peer Pressure

what did the orange say to the other orange? we are both oranges.

Knock Knock Who’s there? Who Who who? Who who who Who who who who? Who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who…

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car and die.

I like to use vasoline during sex. I put it on the doorknob so she can't escape.

So this Horse walked into a bar... Just kidding, it was Sarah Jessica Parker.

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

Guess what I saw... Wood, I'm a carpenter.

What would happen if an asian guy and a black guy had a baby? Nothing. It is impossible for a baby to be born since men produce sperm cells not egg cells and for a fetus to form, you need an egg and a sperm, so you would need a male and a female so since they are both men it is physically impossible for them to produce a child.

A:Why did the chicken cross the road? B:To get The Daily.....Do you get it. A:No. B:Me neither..I get The Times.

spell backwards: taco cat

Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first baby. Why did the third baby fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

A woman went outside for some fresh air.

A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

'A blonde', 'a brunette', and 'a redhead' are ways of referring to women who have hair of a certain color.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...