Why can't Helen Keller have sex? She is dead

What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

Knock Knock Who's There? Jerry Jerry Who? Jerry Sandusky, I've come to rape your kids.

Whats invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts

Hey, Batman Yeah? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents!

Why couldn't the black man participate in the running category of the Olympics? Because he had no legs, he was referred to the Special Olympics, instead.

get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

Why did the women cross the road? I dont know.. why? no clue.. why was she out of the kitchen

Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

What do you call a gay Chinese math teacher? A gay Chinese math teacher.

A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't: 9 was a dick.

knock knock who's there... you you who who the fuck are you

what do you get when you give an eevee a french stone? Napoleon!!!

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is.." "'Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is' who?"

Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

My computer crashed today I was watching porn.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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