Why did Billy fail his math quiz? Because he's stupid.

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Knock knock... Whose there? Patrick Oh hey, come in...

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whats long and pointy and guys always have to brag about whos got the biggest one? their christmas trees

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. It won't come to you regardless what you call it.

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poop nuff said

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have cancer.

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what do you have to do to confuse a blond? Nothing

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whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? The Holocaust is not an idea of the slightest humor at all. Millions of innocent civilians were slaughtered, millions more were sent to brutal concentration camps where they would fight for a crumb of food on the ground and get terribly punished for it, and live their whole lives in pain, torture, and starvation, millions more were sent to concentration camps then murdered, and millions of people, including children were left without family or anywhere to live. On top of that, their whole lives they were mistreated for their differences, and never got to live up to their dreams because of this horrifying event. It left the world in shock for years after, and scars of the event still live on in present-day families whose ancestors were harmed in the Holocaust. The terrible memory of it will never leave this Earth.

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Why did Billy die? His mother killed him.

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Why was the Jamaican man smoking pot? His doctor prescribed it. The man has a serious case of glaucoma.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Man Man who? The man who is knocking. Now open the door Carl!

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Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

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What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

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learn the ropes?

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Three Jews get on a train to Stockholm. How many get off at Stockholm. None. The train went straight to Auschwitz.

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knock knock who's there... you you who who the fuck are you

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Why didn't the man get to see his family on Christmas? He was blind.

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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