What do friends and trees have in common? They will both fall over after being hit multiple times with an ax.

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What's worse than loading babies into a garbage truck. Answore: unloading them with a pitch fork.

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i hate this glue. give me one new or i will poo.

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What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

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Who's the best German Chef? Hitler

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with abnormal sized genitalia.

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What is green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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What happened to the man who bought his son a birthday gift? He eventually was robbed and shot in the face

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In Soviet Russia, Stalin kills you

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and smashed his head on a jagged rock and screamed in anguish. Jill watched in horror as her brother suffered through the agonizing pain. Jack was rushed to the hospital immediately, but despite the doctors' efforts, he died. Jill mourned the loss of her brother for many years after the incident.

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Why did the fireman go to the police station? He didn't go to the police station, he went to the fire station.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender does not ask about its facial characteristics, because he is wondering why there is a horse standing in his bar.

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WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!?!?!!! Not Michael Vick.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers... how about you.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your son has been in a car accident and has died.

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Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

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You know what's bad? Running over a baby with a truck. You know what's worse? Skidding on it.

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Teacher- And that is why the Pythagorean theorem only works for RIGHT triangles. Any questions? Student- I like grapes.

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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Obamacare

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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Dude 1: Hey, ya see these coins here? Dude 2: ya, what about em'? Dude 1: would you say you see these pretty often? Dude 2: yup... :/ Dude 1: so would you call them COMMON CENTS!?!?!?!?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops