What did the man with AIDS say to the other man? I have AIDS and will most likely succumb to the disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock Who's there? Hello??? .....

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Guy: "Did you hear about the guy who cried wolf?" Friend: "Yes. He was pulling your leg. People cry tears not wolves." Guy: "How did you know he was pulling my leg?" Friend: "If you look down, he's still there pulling it."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the man get a tattoo? A: he wanted to express himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the horse say to the other horse Neigh

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Reminds me of when I was a teen, I was working at an elderly home, and there was this really really old woman, and she was leaning forward towards me on her wheelchair, one of her hands accidentally near my crotch, I mean this granny was really senile and shit. Then she went all like, you really like it when I touch you there don't you? I mean it was not the best nor the fastest one, but all that excitement "OMG WHAT IF I GET CAUGHT BY A COLLEAGUE WHILE A 89 YEAR OLD WAS JACKING ME OFF!" Really made it all special folks... Especially when I got caught, it was like OMG STRESS ORGASM HOLY DONT CUM NOOOAAAARGHHHH!!!!!! WOHOOOOOO! I walked outta there like a champ, I was like 18 and my girlfriend/colleague which caught me was like, 27, and the next week she was 32, and before you know it, she was 46 on facebook... Thats like you know... Too old or something...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

neil likes pube toast

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? Same ones he got last year.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She had finished her breakfast and had to get to her job as a firefighter.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into his house to see his TV is moving. He notices a black man who starts running when he enters. He then calls the police and gives a description of the man. The robber gets placed under arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"knock knock" "Come in"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's large, black and can be found in Australia? A large black Australian man.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do a dog and a fork have in common? They both have tails. Except for the fork.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Church.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the baby stop crying his mother killed him with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a gay and a homo?...........WTF I DON'T KNOW!?!?!?!?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock Who's there? Me!! .... me who? Just open the motherf***ing door!! MOM!?! Theres a rapist at the door. MOM: No Jimmy, thats your father

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is the black man in the ghetto? He is a cop and is trying to solve a murder that was committed a couple days ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

where did Lucy go when the bomb dropped? everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happens when you catch a cold? You sneeze whenever you stand up.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do the Wii, PS3, and Xbox 360 all have in common? None of them will get you laid.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops