What do you call a black man? Black

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You have a birthday party and invite 5 celebrities: Britney spears, Lady Gaga, Hulk Hogan, Barack Obama, and Oprah. Meanwhile, there is a cow in a nearby pasture pooping.

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What did Batman say to Superman? Nothing, he killed him with a kryptonite spear.

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You're so fat. Well maybe to kids born in Africa.

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a jew walks out of a furnace

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No just stuff on the internet when I get bored, like on facebook and stuff, why a nurse? Whats wrong? Is he ill?

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Chad Wolbert is retarded.

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Q. How do you make a fruit punch? A. In a punch bowl, mix together fruit punch, pineapple juice and ginger ale. Add scoops of sherbet into the punch. Wait for the sherbet to begin melting, approximately 10 minutes, stir gently, and serve.

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A horse walked into a bar and ordered a drink. It was nothing out of the ordinary because the Everett-Wheeler interpretation of quantum mechanics is correct and he lived in a parallel universe in which the roles of humans and horses are reversed.

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What was the comment at the bottom of this anti joke? come up with a better anti joke

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why did the 14 year old girl have sex? Because she's in love with her boyfriend and that's how she expresses it.

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Is it true that curiousity killed the cat? No, I hit it multiple times with a baseball bat

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YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

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Person One: Knock Knock Person Two: Whos there? Person One: You can see its obviously me because theres not really a door there.

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How Many Blondes does it take to open a fridge. 1 Because most blondes are smart and can open fridges.

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how do you make a little girl cry?? Kill her family

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What comes after 23? 24.

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Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

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How many batteries does it take to run a car 1 a car battery

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your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

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What is makes you more happy to see than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed up as a clown.

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What did the kid say before he died Nothing he was terminally ill

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What does Santa and a grape have in common? They're both purple, except Santa.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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