What do you do with a dead black man? Respect his final wishes and provide him with proper funeral services.

Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

Knock knock! who's there? Excuse me sir can I have a moment to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

A: you have a strong arm. B: yea i work ou- A: you can master bate a whale.

There was a dog walking down the street with his GF. The dog can have a GF and can talk because this is an anti joke. Then the dog broke up with his GF because he was unhappy with her scent. Dogs are weird that way. Then, sobbing, he saw something through the blur of his tears. The county fair was open! Elated, the dog ran to the fair and waited n the ticket line for a long time. He waited so long, he almost exploded. Once he got to the end, he reached in his coat pocket (yeah, the dog is wearing a coat. It's cold), and found no wallet. FUUUUUUU! By the time he got back, the fair was closed for the day. The next time he came back, he had a hard time getting through the line. When he did, he raced to the ferris wheel. Halfway up, the ferris wheel stopped. CWAP! The neckst daey, thee dwawg whent two the ferries weele and went up. Yay. At the top, he saw his house! there was a chicken crossing the road. WTF? Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Phuck yeah.

Q: What did ine sweaty arab man say to the other sweaty arab man? A: "I'm sweaty"

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had just received a call from his family, hearing that his father had just been butchered. He was approaching the farm when an 18-wheeler approached. The tire flew off, hit a candy store, candy flew in the chicken's mouth, and it died of diabetes. However, right before the chicken died he finally crossed the road, not knowing he would get shot by his farmer. The chicken managed to survive the shooting to his right kidney, wiggled to his family, and died in front of his wife.

tom pauling

What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

Why was the little boy crying? Because he had an undescended testicle

You know what's interesting about Polish people? Nothing.

What do Bruce Lee and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both dead

who is gay for wild ones- Ryan Mcgggguigan

Three logicians were travelling up to Scotland in a train. They saw a black cow standing parallel to the train tracks; the first sign of life since crossing the border. The first logician says "Oh, so they do have black cows in Scotland." The second logician says "No, they have at least one black cow in Scotland." The third logician says "No, they have at least one cow in Scotland, one side of which, at least, is black."

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

What walks on four in the morning, three at noon, and two at night? A baby with leprosy.

Why did the swing fall off the girl? I have dyslexia

whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

knock knock? who's there the stubt double vampire that's going to kill you;0

Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

how did the ant die? i stepped on it

If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

Why did the man fall of the cliff? A: Because someone pushed him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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