I just missed my bus. At least I haven't got cancer.

A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

how many dirty stinkin apes does it take to put in a lightbulb? 3 dirty stinkin apes, 1 dirty stinkin ape to put in the lightbulb and 2 dirty stinkin apes to throw feces at each other

when life knocks you down you don't do anything because life is a mental concept that does not have the ability to knock you down since it doesn't have a physical bodie

"Solids tunderf" he said, while chewing his gum.

Why couldnt jim jump rope? His feet were nailed to the ground.

Why do people on here submit anti-jokes involving children getting raped or killed? Because the people on this website are sadists. =/

where was the heart of ocean found. madelain mcanns urn

What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? An amputation.

Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

What do 69 and 420 have in common? That was my score on my Math final:(

Is this the krusty Crab? No you idiot this is a phone!!!!!

Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with abnormal sized genitalia.

Why didn't grandma ever return Johnathon's calls? Grandma was brutally murdered 2 years prior. Johnathon had issues believing that she was gone. He went on to live a life of pain and suffering, which would eventually lead to suicide at the age of 24.

Why are black people afraid of chainsaws. Because they have razor sharp edges and can slice through flesh very easily, posing a potential threat if possessed by a violent person.

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend "I know. You need to quit gnawing when you're giving me a blow job."

Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's drivers license had been revoked for all of it's DWI's.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Me. Me Who? Me. Uh.

what do abortion and a coat hanger have in common? they both contain 4 vowels

PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DON'T POST MESSAGE ON LIKE DIFFERENT VIDEO

How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

Whats worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being stabbed.

What do you call a swimming pool full of black people? A family enjoying their holiday.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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