jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can swim through land

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*Brother comes downstairs wet and naked* Mom: Did you enjoy your shower?

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jim is constantly asking bob the same questions, bob brings this to attention and suggests that jim might have amnesia. jim agrees and they move on iwth the conversation. minutes later jim asks a simaler question brought to attention earlier because he has amnesia

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Q: On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet? A: Apple

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tims sty:)

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How do you make a baby stop crying? You slit it's throat.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playhouse in her backyard? Well if you didn't, it was quite nice. I was her neighbor.

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What do Mitt Romney and Barak Obama have in common? Nothing that is why they are running against each other for US President.

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On the next line im going to write a joke: George W. Bush

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How many napkins does it take to tack to the moon? Purple, snakes don't have elbows

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shut up elliot

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WHY DO IDIOTS RIGHT STUPID JOKES BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO WITH THERE LIVES.

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ew. I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth! ...that's what she said!

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your mom is so stupid she has a low iq

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth on a piece of pizza? Because the pizza was on fire.

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A black man orders a pizza to be delivered to his house. He is delightfully pleased at the speed in which the pizza was delivered and decided he would order from that pizza shop again in the near future.

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why did the black man attend the AA meeting? his wife told him the only way she would stay with him is if he would attend these meetings, he was an alcoholic and is dying of liver failure.

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Roses are red Violets are blue What about green? That seems mean...

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was dead Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was stapled to the first koala

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A dyslexic man gets asked what 1+1 is, he replies with a wopping 11. Grats <3

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What's worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A dead baby in 8 barrels.

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What does a Barbie Doll and Britney Spears have in common? They're both 100 percent plastic.

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Ron Paul for President!

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A man walks into a bar, muttering to himself. People stare at him because his severe Schizophrenia makes him stand out in social situations.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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