What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

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What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

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What do you call a banana that just got pealed A banana

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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What is worse then finding repeated jokes on anti jokes? finding a womr in your apple

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she had just witnessed the slaughter of her entire family and friends in front of her eye, leaving her not only peerless and alone, but also with the mental scars which come with witnessing such a harrowing ordeal.

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whats one plus one penis

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these jokes are not funny but there funny because there not funny aaaaaaaa pissing me off

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What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Q: How did the Irishman die? A: He was old.

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Why did Dean Jones talk to his car? Because it was Herbie the love bug , a car possessed by a demon that had voice recognition capabilities and thus could understand him

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A: What did the banana say to the other banana? B: I don't know, what? A: I don't know either, I was hoping you did.

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Three men walk into a bar and suffer permanent brain damage

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Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

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Why did the crack addict see colors. He was looking at the northern lights

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how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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What do you call a barrel full of monkeys? A game, you idiot.

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Like a bit of a cozy fight or something.

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Knock knock Get off my porch.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, you're entire family is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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