What did Thisara say? You cant see me bich

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They are both purple except for the rabbit.

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What did the duck wear to go swimming? A bathingsuit!

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What is the answer to this joke? Cuz fuck you that's why.

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Yo mamma is so fat her blood type is RAGU

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Two men are in a bar. One of them turns to the other one and says, "I've slept with your mom." The other one replies "Go home dad you're drunk."

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Wanna know what is gross? a dead baby in a dumpster. Grosser? Ten dead babies in a dumpster. Grosser? There is a live one at the bottom. Grosser? It ate its way out. Grosser? It came back for seconds.

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Who's a pedophile and not afraid to show it? The clown from McDonald

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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I <3 Hitler

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How do you tell if a kitten is alive? Throw it at the wall.

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why was little jonny not playing in the baseball game? his legs were shattered in a terrible lawn mowing accident.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

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What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

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What's brown and sticky? A Stick

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

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A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

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here's a chuck norris fact: Chuck Norris is 5'10 and lost to bruce lee!

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Whats green, and says i'm a frog? A talking frog.

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It was Valentines Day today, I thought I should get her something... I brought flowers to her grave.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme others don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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