you know why people who read anti-jokes are stupid? i just had the greatest sex ever!!

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

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one day i went on a swing, somone pushed me and i fell broke my leg,cracked three ribs, cut my lip, fractured my toe and died of internal bleeding to my brain.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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Q:How do you know if you have a big enough oven? A: If the jew fits

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Q. What did the buddhist monk say to the hotdog vendor? A. "I'd like a hotdog, please."

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Why is Taylor sad? Because she's the middle of a human centipede.

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No, its just his eye, its infected, he gets fever and well, that is all I should say. Nero is my friend and I do not like it when people lie to him, he is outside having a cigarette, I do not think he wants to speak with you anymore. Bye.

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Do gingers have souls ? No, Gingers are a myth made up in the 13th centuary to scare little kids.

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Q. why did I get hurt A. My pants fell off

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ted. Come in.

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John has 58 candy bars. He eats 40, what does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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I couldnt remember who Rhiana used to date. Then it hit me.

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Q. How many people use MySpace? A. Pfft who uses MySpace

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Why did the robber wear a mask? Because he had eczema.

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How do you get a clown to shut up? Hit him in the face with an axe

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What do you call a Mexican playing basketball? A man of hispanic heritage that enjoys the sport of basketball.

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Whats worse than being white and in harlem on the 4th of july? Your schizophrenic father leaving you a voicemail detailing the politics of successful encounters with prostitutes.

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I was approached the other day by an officer as he asked... "Son where are your parents?" I replied, "I dont know i'm an orphan" The officer then laughed and walked away

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im jackson, i have a small willy, and like to finger my dog

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Yo mama so fat She could die any day.

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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing really, it just let out a little whine.

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A rock walks into a bar. The town goes into extreme panic and is abandoned because rocks are inanimate objects.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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