Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

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pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

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Want to hear a funny joke? Sure. Women's Rights. That's not even a joke. You don't get it. It's not even a sentence.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

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What happened to the peanut who went to New York City? He got a-salted

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An Irishman walked into a pub and ordered a pint. He had planned to just have one but ended up having two since he'd had a rough day at work. His wife was slightly annoyed that he came home smelling of beer.

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Q: What did Micheal Jackson Say to the boys? A: He can't speak because he's dead.

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iff god whas funny why thit he let your mother be raped and your sister murdered en iff satan whos a ice cream will he taste sweet ?

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

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What happened when the asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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OneBigAssMistakeAmerica

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

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Oh

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

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they say that cancer can't pass but why do three our your uncles have it

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what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

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Whats brown and sticky? A massive shit.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

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A rabbi, a nun, a priest, a hooker, a stripper, 2 secret servicemen, a teacher, a midget, a ginger, a rodeo clown, a nascar driver, a homosexual native american, a heterosexual native american, 2 portuguese tuba players, an african american taxi driver, a blind man, his seeing eye dog, a bartender, 2 minor league baseball players, 3 lesbian mexican salsa dance instructors and a dwarf are all in a bar. They all had a good time and the teacher and one ol the portuguese tuba players ended up becoming facebook friends.

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Why did Tesco not serve a black guy? Because he just happen to be holding a gun

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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