What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

once upon a time jeff peterson was taking a daily walk when he stops and stares at a strange object. it was an assasin with a knife who slaughtered jeff decapitating his head while his family cry's. THE END

A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

Whats brown and sticky? A massive shit.

Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't make sense Your cute

What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

What is the main similarity of Darth Vader and Michael Jackson? They are both dead fathers.

What do you call two black guys flying a plane? Pilots.

SNAPPLE!

What did the Leah say to the Pawneez? AWWWW YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So a black man, an Italian, a Mexican, an Irishman, a Chinese man, and a Jew walk into a bar. They go their separate ways and never see each other again.

Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

What's The Difference Between a Chicken and a Human. Well a Chicken Is A Chicken and a Human Is a Human.

How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

Why is One direction the best thing in the world? Becuz when 5 hot guys met each other they... Sorry I got lost in Zayn's eyes again! Now what were we talking about??????

What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

Q. What is worse than being British???? A. Not being British

Knock Knock Who's There? God God who.....wait REALLY? No Dave, this is a hallucination, and your peeing right now.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

Knock knock. Who's ther? Your friend Billy i've been shot and need help

How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...